Things I Wish Every Parent Knew (Part Two)Your Student Did NOT Just Get That Project Assignment Yesterday
Many students fool their parents into thinking that large assignments and special projects were just dropped on them (like a bomb) the day or two before, but more than 95 percent of the time, your student has long known about the assigned work and has plenty of time to plan and complete the work. However, most students procrastinate and wait until the last possible day (or few days) to get started on their projects, and they convince their parents that it’s not “their fault” that they have SO MUCH work to do in SO LITTLE time.
Not only is this bad because it’s disingenuous (although clever students can actually get parents to believe their ploy without technically “lying” through their teeth about it), it also promotes the following situation – which I believe should be unacceptable: Parents allow (and sometimes even require) their students to miss church, youth events, and important family events in order to work on their projects, while the parents are left thinking inaccurate and negative things about teachers, as the “teachers” (rather than the student) are wrongly blamed for the massive work load. This not only fosters a lie, but it teaches students that school work and grades come BEFORE God and family. Later, when the students are adults, don’t be surprised if they put their careers and achievements before God and family – because that’s what you have helped train them to do, unfortunately. Whenever students are allowed and encouraged to drop their commitments to God and family in order to do school work (or anything else for that matter), they are embarking on a disastrous course that will deliver negative repercussions towards them and their loved ones for years to come!
What parents should do to counteract this: (1) Teach your student that God and family come first, and when a procrastinated assignment threatens commitments to God and family, require that the assignment (rather than God and family) be put on the back-burner, even if it means the assignment is not completed and your student’s grade suffers as a result. (2) Help your student to plan and complete their assignments in a timely manner by modeling a procrastination-free lifestyle yourself and by doing whatever it takes to make sure your students are not allowed to procrastinate while they live under your roof. For example, work out a system whereby you can know when assignments are given to your student without solely depending on your student to tell you, meaning you may have to contact teachers occasionally and/or check the school/class website (if one exists) with recent assignment postings. When assignments are known, require your student to set-aside specific amounts of time each day to work on the assignments, and then make sure that video games, trips to the mall with friends, Internet surfing (that is unrelated to the assignment), and ipods don’t interfere with this specific time. (3) Finally, if all else fails, be sure to punish your student when assignments are not completed or when they are completed poorly – due to procrastination. You can restrict computer, ipod, and cell phone usage. You can prohibit your students from going out with friends. You can assign more chores around the house. The list goes on and on (although you should NEVER use prohibition of church and youth events as a means of punishment; see the last post), but whatever you do, punish your student and stick to the punishment (without calling it off) in order that your student will know that procrastination is not acceptable in your home.
Parents, trust me when I say that students NEED your help when it comes to time management, thwarting procrastination, and completing assignments in a world where video games and ipods are readily available. Students approach me all of the time with prayer concerns centered on “time management” and “defeating procrastination,” and so if you (as the parent) can help your student with an area where there is much struggle, why wouldn’t you? But while you are helping your student, remember to help them the most by always showing them that GOD and his influence on them is more important than school, assignments, grades, and everything else! Encourage your student’s commitment to church and youth events, and don’t allow assignments to get in the way. Proverbs 21:30-31 says, “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory rests with the Lord.” Help your student understand that while knowledge and planning and preparation (for life and careers) are appropriate and necessary, the real and true key to success is always keeping focused on God above everything else!
